Do all you can to reach out to estranged daughter
by Billy Graham
October 11, 2013 11:56 PM | 1455 views | 0 0 comments | 61 61 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Q: Our daughter’s husband walked out on her and it’s really been hard, especially since she has two small children and has to work. We’d like to help somehow, but we’ve not had the best of relationships with our daughter (especially since we urged her not to marry this man), and we don’t know what to do. Any suggestions? ­— Mrs. K.W.W.

A: Almost nothing is harder than being a single parent, and my heart goes out to your daughter and to all who find themselves in this situation. I hope churches will do more to reach out and welcome those who are single parents (both men and women).

It’s not only hard physically and financially for your daughter, but emotionally, also, as she faces the trauma of divorce. All too often today we think divorce is a quick and easy solution to a difficult marriage, but it seldom is. The feelings of hurt, rejection and bitterness that often accompany divorce create wounds that may take years to heal — if ever. No wonder God has said, “’The man who hates and divorces his wife... does violence to the one he should protect.’ ... So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful” (Malachi 2:16).

What can you do? Frankly, it may be difficult to bridge the gap between you and your daughter because of what you once did; perhaps others will learn from your experience. Do all you can, however, to let your daughter know you love her and want to help her. Don’t bring up the past; you can’t change it, and dredging up what you see as your daughter’s mistakes will only cause more hurt.

In addition, suggest some practical ways you might help her -- keeping the children occasionally, doing her laundry, taking her a meal, etc. Pray for her, also, that she will turn to Christ and learn to give her burdens and cares to Him.

Q: I got a new job and moved to a big city because I thought it would be exciting to be around so much activity, but I’ve never been so lonely. I haven’t made even one friend here. Why did God let me make such a big mistake? — Z.P.

A: Did you honestly seek God’s will and ask Him to guide you before you made the decision to move? Or did you simply go ahead and make this decision on your own, and hope that somehow God would bless it?

Only you can answer this, of course -- but I hope you will, because it could keep you from making the same mistake in the future. You see, God loves you; He made you and put you here, and He deeply cares what happens to you. That’s why you can turn to Him and seek His will as you make decisions, instead of trying to impose your will on Him. The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes” (Proverbs 3:5-7).

What should you do now? First, if you have never done so, turn to Jesus Christ and put your life into His hands. When you do, God Himself will come to live within you by His Spirit, and He will make you a member of His family forever. When we know Christ, we are never alone, because He is with us.

Then ask God to lead you to a church in your city where Christ is preached and lived. Not only will you grow in your faith, but you’ll meet others who love God and want to be your friends.

Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit www.billygraham.org.

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